This book just wins. Everything. You can read it in about 20 minutes, but I swear it will haunt you forever. Just like that thing you did at camp.

Now you can finally cook that pigeon that's been in your freezer for so long! Also: snail porridge. That's all I'm going to say.

When you read this book, everyday feels like your birthday.

I don't even know where to begin with this book.  The self portrait made entirely out of beans?  The incredibly...thorough...illustrated guide for properly putting on panty hose?  Or maybe the entire "Entertaining Children" section with such innovative ideas as "Pretend Spousal Abuse" (use red tictacs for pretend bloody teeth).  I don't normally care too much for the domestic arts, but Amy Sedaris, in her infinite and insane wisdom, has taken the most asinine and absurd aspects of entertaining and completely run with them.